ROMANTIC
An Irishman and his wife stroll past a top restaurant around lunch time.
“Did you smell that food?” she says “It must be absolutely delicious.”
Being a good decent Irishman, he decides to treat her.
So they walk past it again.
TROUBLE
Driver gets pulled over at 3 AM.
The Gardai asks, “Where are you off to?”
Driver says, “I’m going to a serious lecture on alcohol abuse and how it affects the human body.”
The Gardai enquiries “Really and who is giving that lecture at 3 AM in the morning?”
Driver says, “The wife.”
PRAYER
I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a car and prayed for forgiveness instead.