13 Jokes Accountants Love!!

Hope you enjoy the following great jokes that accountants love to send each other: Welcome to the accounting firm where everybody counts. It’s accrual world. Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation. Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and […]

Accountancy Jokes – November

JOKE 1 A Cork accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He is met by St Peter who goes through the usual questionnaire. “What sort of accountant are you?” says St Peter “I work in private practice,” is the reply. “Name?” He gives his name. St Peter goes through some files and pulls one out. “Oh, yes. We’ve been expecting you. You’ve reached your allotted span,” says St Peter. “How can that be?” says the accountant. “I’m too young to go. I’m only forty-eight” “No, that’s impossible.” “Why do you say that?” “Well we’ve been looking at […]

A Few More Jokes

Joke 1 A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn in Cork City. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, “I’m a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We’re here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?” The owner replies, “I don’t have an opinion. I’m a chartered accountant. Joke 2 A Cork accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, “Do you know what I do?’ “Daddy says you’re a CPA.” “That’s […]

A few Jokes August Newsletter

Joke 1 An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, “Did you get my mobile message where I said, ‘Ship the Enron documents to the Feds’?” The manager goes white. “Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds.” Joke 2 An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.” […]