Category Archives: Humour

A few jokes

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Joke: What does an accountant say when boarding a train? ‘Mind the GAAP’. Joke: Why was the accountant in rehab? Solvency abuse. Joke: What’s an accountant’s favourite book? 50 Shades of Grey. Joke: What’s grey and not there? An accountant on vacation. Joke : Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No. Me neither. Joke: What did the accountant do to liven up the office party? Not show up. Joke: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve taken the medicine you prescribed but it’s not working. What should I do?” “Try using your calculator.” “How will that help?” “I’m not sure, but it’s something you […]

Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveller

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Now that winter is coming you might enjoy the following that a college friend living in Pennsylyvania recently sent me on a snow experience!! December 8 6:00PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be […]

Accountancy Jokes – November

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JOKE 1 A Cork accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He is met by St Peter who goes through the usual questionnaire. “What sort of accountant are you?” says St Peter “I work in private practice,” is the reply. “Name?” He gives his name. St Peter goes through some files and pulls one out. “Oh, yes. We’ve been expecting you. You’ve reached your allotted span,” says St Peter. “How can that be?” says the accountant. “I’m too young to go. I’m only forty-eight” “No, that’s impossible.” “Why do you say that?” “Well we’ve been looking at […]

A Few More Jokes

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Joke 1 A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn in Cork City. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, “I’m a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We’re here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?” The owner replies, “I don’t have an opinion. I’m a chartered accountant. Joke 2 A Cork accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, “Do you know what I do?’ “Daddy says you’re a CPA.” “That’s […]

A few Jokes August Newsletter

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Joke 1 An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, “Did you get my mobile message where I said, ‘Ship the Enron documents to the Feds’?” The manager goes white. “Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds.” Joke 2 An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.” […]